hold the room.

Glossary

Mirroring

Repeating the last one to three words someone said, as a gentle question, then waiting. They often say more.

From the lesson

Mirror and label

Hostage negotiators turned it into tools. Mirroring: repeat the last one to three words they said, as a question, then wait. It makes people keep going. Labelling: name the emotion you are seeing. “It sounds like that was frustrating.” Then silence. You don’t fix, you don’t add your own story. You let the label land.

Day 17 · Listening People Can Feel: How to be a better listener: mirroring, labelling, and follow-up questions

Drill step 1

Play a podcast or interview. Pause each time someone finishes a point, mirror the last three words out loud, then label the emotion. Ten rounds.

Day 17 · Listening People Can Feel: How to be a better listener: mirroring, labelling, and follow-up questions

Then listen

Then listen. Use the Week 3 tools: label their emotion, mirror, let silence sit. The goal is not to win. It is for both of you to be able to describe the problem the same way. That is when things change.

Day 23 · Difficult Conversations: How to have a difficult conversation at work: observation, feeling, need, request

Where it comes up

In practice

Examples from the course that use it.

Ten rounds with a podcast

You pause an interview each time someone finishes a point, mirror the last three words out loud, then label the emotion. By round six the label comes without thinking. Round nine, the host says exactly what you labelled.

Example Day 17 · Listening People Can Feel

Related terms

  • AREAnchor, Reveal, Encourage: comment on something you both share right now, add something about you, then ask them a question.
  • Follow-up questionA question about what the person just told you. It proves you listened and keeps them talking.
  • LabellingNaming the feeling you can see, like “It sounds like that was frustrating”. Then staying quiet so it can land.

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