hold the room.

Glossary

Labelling

Naming the feeling you can see, like “It sounds like that was frustrating”. Then staying quiet so it can land.

From the lesson

Mirror and label

Hostage negotiators turned it into tools. Mirroring: repeat the last one to three words they said, as a question, then wait. It makes people keep going. Labelling: name the emotion you are seeing. “It sounds like that was frustrating.” Then silence. You don’t fix, you don’t add your own story. You let the label land.

Day 17 · Listening People Can Feel: How to be a better listener: mirroring, labelling, and follow-up questions

Where it comes up

In practice

Examples from the course that use it.

Before the one-on-one

“Label first. Don’t fix. Ask what would help.” Three rules on a sticky note. Your report says it was the best one-on-one she has had.

In the office Day 26 · Your Practice Plan

Related terms

  • Follow-up questionA question about what the person just told you. It proves you listened and keeps them talking.
  • Two sighsTwo physiological sighs: a big breath in through the nose, a short top-up sniff, then a long, slow breath out through the mouth. Do it twice. It can help you settle.
  • Field missionA small real-world task: try one skill from the plan once, with real people, in your day.
  • Weekly loopTen minutes a week after the plan: one minute in Speak, one field mission, one story told.
  • Cue cardThree short rules in your own words that you read before anything that matters, like “Two sighs. Conclusion first. Stop talking.”

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