Confident body language in meetings: posture, hands, and stillness

Picture it · 5 examples

• Example The engineer with the solid design

  Marcus presents a design the whole room agrees is right. Throughout, one hand rubs the back of his neck and he rocks foot to foot. The feedback: “he didn’t seem sure about it”. The design was sure. His neck was not.

• In the office Your update to the leadership team

  Your numbers are good. You twist your ring the whole time and shift in the chair. The CFO’s note says “seemed unsure”. The numbers were not unsure. Your hands were.

• Selling The pitch with the pen

  You click the pen through the entire pitch. The buyer watches the pen. Later she cannot remember your second point, but she remembers the pen.

• Drinks & dinners The man by the wall

  At the conference drinks, the man with his arms folded over his phone looks unapproachable. He is actually shy and would love to talk. Nobody can tell. His posture is doing the talking for him.

• On a call On camera

  You touched your face eleven times in a twenty-minute video call. You counted them on the recording afterwards. Nobody said anything, and everybody saw it.

Picture it · 4 examples

• Example Two minutes in the car park

  Before the interview you sit in the car for two minutes, shoulders back, chest open, hands on the wheel. You are not waiting for a hormone surge. You just walk in feeling less small, and the panel sees it.

• In the office The stairwell before the board

  Two minutes in the stairwell, shoulders down, breathing low, taking up space. You walk into the boardroom the size you actually are instead of the size nerves make you.

• On a call Standing for the call

  You take the renewal call standing, feet apart, one hand free. Your voice drops and steadies. The client hears it even though she cannot see it.

• Selling Before walking onto the stand

  Behind the banner, thirty seconds, chest open, hands off the phone. You walk out to the first visitor looking like the person in charge of the stand, because you are.

Picture it · 4 examples

• Example The silence after the price

  The buyer taps his pen, shifts, checks his watch. You sit still, hands loosely on the table, and let the silence sit after you name the price. He fills it with a yes.

• In the office The one who doesn’t shift

  Six people at the table. Five of them fidget while the director talks. You don’t. When she asks who will lead it, she looks at you.

• Drinks & dinners The dinner

  The one person at the table not touching their phone, not shifting, hands resting, is the one everyone ends up looking at when a decision is needed.

• Selling Gesturing on purpose

  You make two gestures in the whole pitch: palms open on “here’s what I’m asking”, and a hand flat on the table for the price. The rest of the time your hands are still. Both gestures land because nothing else is moving.

Picture it · 4 examples

• Example Standing at the whiteboard

  You stand at the whiteboard, feet shoulder-width, weight even, shoulders down, and write without hunching. The room watches the board, not you. The last person at the board stood on one foot and the CFO asked him if he was alright.

• Drinks & dinners At the bar

  You stand at the bar facing the room, feet apart, drink at your side, not curled around it. Two people come over in ten minutes. Your colleague, hunched over his phone at the same bar, is talked to by nobody.

• On a call On video

  You sit back, shoulders open, slightly further from the camera than feels natural. On the recording you look like the person running the call. Last week, nose to the lens, you looked like you were reading something urgent.

• In the office Waiting to present

  Standing at the side of the room before your slot, feet planted, hands at your sides. You look ready before you are introduced.

Picture it · 4 examples

• Example Round the table

  The CFO asks for your number. Your hands stay flat on the table while you give it. The person before you answered with his hands in his lap and got asked to confirm it by email. Same confidence in the number. Different hands.

• Drinks & dinners Standing with a drink

  One hand holds the glass at waist height, the other rests at your side, not in your pocket. The MD walks over and you shake hands without juggling anything. The man beside you, both hands wrapped round a beer, nods instead.

• Hard conversation Being challenged

  “Are you sure about that?” Your hand starts towards your neck and you put it flat on the table instead. You answer. Nobody sees the hand. If it had reached the neck, everyone would have.

• Selling Across the desk

  Your hands rest on your folder, not drumming on it. The buyer’s eyes stay on your face through the whole price discussion. In the last meeting your pen clicked and her eyes went to the pen.

Picture it · 3 examples

• Example Explaining the plan

  Two gestures in the whole explanation: palms up on “here’s the choice”, palm down on “we hold the date”, and nothing else. Hands at rest in between. The director repeats “we hold the date” back to you. The gesture landed with it.

• Drinks & dinners Telling the story

  At the table your hands go bigger at the peak of the story, still inside the box, then come back to rest on the table for the ending. The rest is what makes the ending land. The table goes quiet at the right moment.

• In the office On stage at the all-hands

  Gestures slightly bigger than in a meeting, still inside the box, hands at rest between them. Watching the recording, you look deliberate. The speaker before you waved continuously and looked nervous, though she was not.

Picture it · 4 examples

• Example Someone asks a question

  A question from the end of the table. You turn the chair and your torso to the asker, not just your head. She asks a second one. The last presenter answered over his shoulder, and nobody asked him anything else.

• Drinks & dinners Group at drinks

  You face the person speaking with your whole body. Half the circle is half-turned to the room. When she finishes, she turns to you with the next thing, because you were the one who was fully there.

• Selling At the counter

  Body square to the customer, not angled to the till. He feels served rather than processed, and says so to your manager on the way out. You did not say anything different from the last customer.

• On a call On camera

  Square to the lens, not angled to the second monitor. On the call the client asks you the question instead of your colleague, who is visibly reading something off to the side.

Picture it · 4 examples

• Example The deadline argument

  Two colleagues are going at it in the kitchen, fast and loud. You say one sentence at their speed, so you are in the conversation, then drop a notch slower and quieter. By the time the kettle boils they are both talking at your pace, and the argument has turned into a plan.

• Drinks & dinners The loud function

  You speak slightly quieter and slower than the room. The two people you are talking to lean in. The man across from you is going louder to beat the noise, and losing.

• Hard conversation The argument

  He raises his voice. You go one notch calmer, not one notch louder, and answer at the same volume you started at. His second sentence is quieter than his first. The argument never gets to a third.

• On a call The crisis call

  Everyone on the call is talking fast. You speak a notch slower than all of them. Within two minutes the call is running at your pace.