How to read body language in a meeting (and the 93% myth)

Picture it · 5 examples

• Example “Fine, really”

  The client says the proposal is fine, really. He is leaning back, arms folded, feet towards the door. You believe the body. “What would make it more than fine?” He tells you. Your colleague, last quarter, believed the word, sent the contract, and never heard back.

• Selling “We’re very interested”

  Said flat, with a glance at the clock. The words say yes. The delivery says the meeting is over. You ask what the timeline looks like on their side and get the real answer: next year.

• In the office “Yes, makes sense”

  The team says it. Nobody meets your eye. You ask it differently: “What would break if we did this?” Three hands go up. The words were polite. The faces were honest.

• Drinks & dinners “No, I’m having a great time”

  At the client dinner she says it with her torso already turned to the exit. You offer a way out: “I’ll let you get to your taxi.” She is grateful. Believing her polite words would have kept her trapped.

• On a call The nod on video

  He nods while you explain the price. His “yes”, when it comes, is half a second late and flat. You believe the delivery, not the word. “What would make it an easy yes?” He tells you: the payment terms. You fix the terms and the next yes is on time.

Picture it · 6 examples

• Example Baseline first

  For ten minutes you just watch how he sits when relaxed: back in the chair, hands loose, feet towards you. You say the price. A hand goes to his collar and his feet turn to the door. You see the change before he speaks. You slow down and ask. The deal survives.

• Selling The showroom

  For ten minutes she has stood square to the display, hands on the bag, feet straight. Then, at the two models, her feet turn to one while she says she likes both. You talk about that one. She buys it, and says you read her mind.

• In the office Slide four

  The director’s torso turns away during slide four and never quite comes back. You finish, then return to slide four: “I’d like your view on this one.” That was the objection. Now it is on the table.

• Drinks & dinners The circle at drinks

  Six people. Two have their feet pointing out of the circle. They are probably already gone; they just have not walked yet. You talk to the four who are there.

• Hard conversation The one-on-one

  Every time the project comes up, his hand goes to his neck. The rest of the time, it never does. You stop talking and ask what is happening with the project. The real thing comes out.

• On a call Video

  On the video call you only see shoulders and face, so the baseline is the first two minutes of small talk: she sits forward, smiles, hands on the desk. When you name the number she leans back and a hand comes up to her cheek. You slow down and ask. The number was fine. The timing was not.

Picture it · 5 examples

• Example One crossed arm

  The CFO crosses her arms. You panic and over-explain for three minutes. Afterwards you learn the aircon was set to eighteen. Next time: arms crossed, torso turned, and a neck rub, right after the price. Three signals. You pause and ask. That one was real.

• Selling Right after the price

  Lean back, arms fold, pen goes down. Three, together, in the second after the number. “Say more about where that lands for you.” He tells you. Had you ploughed on, he would have said “we’ll be in touch.”

• In the office The corner of the mouth

  When your colleague’s plan is mentioned, one corner of the director’s mouth tightens for a quarter of a second. Before the vote, you have a good idea where the opposition is. You go and talk to the director first.

• Drinks & dinners At the table

  He laughs at the joke, but his torso has turned towards the other conversation and his glass is empty and he has not refilled it. Three cues. You release him kindly. He thanks you later.

• On a call Tone clusters

  On a call: the pace slows, the answers shorten to “right” and “sure”, a long breath. Three. “Have I lost you somewhere?” “A bit, yes.” You would never have known from the words.

Picture it · 2 examples

• Example Small talk is data

  Two minutes of small talk before the meeting. You are watching how he sits when nothing is at stake: back in the chair, hands loose, one foot out. Twenty minutes later, when the price comes up, you will know what changed.

• Selling In the room

  Where do the buyer’s hands rest when nothing is at stake? On the table, still. That is the picture you compare everything else to. When you name the number, one hand goes to her collar. You see it because you knew where it started.

Picture it · 3 examples

• Example Under the table

  You glance under the table as you make your point. The CFO’s feet point at you. The marketing director’s point at the door, and she is smiling. You give the CFO the detail and give the marketing director a way out of the meeting. Both thank you.

• Drinks & dinners Standing group

  Six people at the function. Four torsos point into the circle. Two sets of feet point at the bar. Those two leave within five minutes, exactly as their feet said they would. You had already turned to the four.

• In the office The meeting

  You glance along the table as you make your point. Four torsos towards you, two angled away. You know who to ask directly.

Picture it · 3 examples

• Example Neck, face, collar

  You name the number. His hand goes to his neck. You note the moment and say nothing about it. Two minutes later you ask what he makes of the price, and he tells you, because you asked at the right time.

• On a call On video

  On the video call, her hand goes to her face when you mention the timeline, and she rubs her eye. Visible even on a small screen. You slow down and ask about the timeline. She tells you the board date you did not know about.

• Hard conversation The site visit

  On the site visit the ops manager rubs his neck every time the night shift is mentioned, and never otherwise. You ask about the night shift. The problem he came in not to raise comes out.

Picture it · 2 examples

• Example Three signals

  The engineer folds his arms during your proposal. You wait. Then he turns his chair away, then his pen goes down. Three. “What’s bothering you about it?” He tells you, and it is fixable. One cue alone would have had you chasing nothing.

• Selling After the number

  You say the price. Her pen goes down. You wait. Then she leans back and her hands go into her lap. Three cues in five seconds, so you ask: “Where does that land for you?” She tells you the budget is annual, not quarterly. Now you can fix it.

Picture it · 3 examples

• Example Pause and ask

  Three cues after your proposal. You stop. “What’s your gut reaction?” Then you give him room. He says the bit about the timeline worries him. Pushing through would have turned that worry into a no he did not explain.

• Drinks & dinners At dinner

  Her torso has turned to the exit and her glass is empty. “I’ll let you grab a drink.” She is grateful, and later she comes back to find you. She remembers the kindness, not the escape.

• In the office The turned shoulder

  Halfway through the plan, the ops lead turns her shoulder to you and starts checking her phone. You stop. “What’s the catch, from where you sit?” She has one, about the rollout date, and it is the objection that would have killed the plan next week.